March 12, 2020 by kittynh
So, my 60th birthday celebration was supposed to be at one of my favorite places, filled with friends and family, including my daughter who was flying in from Australia….
and instead it was spent quietly with my husband.
People ask if I’m sad that what would have been an “epic” birthday party, did not happen.
I have to admit truthfully, that feeling sorry for myself when there is a pandemic going on, is like saying I’m upset about that trip to Warsaw I missed because Hitler invaded.
There are some things bigger than ourselves, and this virus is one of them.
I did however spend a lovely lonely day, at the Vermont home of Rudyard Kipling where he wrote many of his works. I love the architecture, enjoy sitting at his desk, and eating at his table. My husband had gone in before I did and cleaned almost the entire place.
I had a really lovely birthday. Also it should be noted I am SO AT RISK it is not even funny. I have multiple doctors every year making sure I have had my flu shot. Even if I do pick not serious from anyone else illness, I have the assurance that there will be a bed in the ICU if needed, and I’ll probably need it.
But will that hospital bed be there? What if I get the stronger version of the virus? Also, despite the fact I have insurance and savings enough to pay for whatever medical care is needed, would I ever take a hospital bed that is needed by a young mother? Or someone supporting a family? I don’t want “Those with the insurance go to the front of the line!”
While 60 isn’t old, to me, it’s an easy choice who gets the bed if there is a shortage. Sadly, will my view be that of a hospital facing an overwhelming number of patients?
I also know I am very loved and wanted by many, including my two adult daughters that call daily to make sure I am being jailed by my loving husband. It is touching to know, really know, your family loves you.
So how is my lockdown going?
I am going to walks, with my RA I am going for smaller walks more often. Thankfully the weather finally has gone from freezing to simply cold. Spring is here!
I’m walking in quiet areas. There is a cemetery nearby, and it has very wide walkways. People walking there wave at each other as they walk, but we don’t stop to chat.
My husband goes to Walmart or the grocery store the minute they open. He said there are about 5-8 people there, and if anyone sees someone in an aisle they skip it. The cart is wiped down and it’s in and out. Then my husband cleans himself up before coming into the house.
I think he would feel horrible if he gave me the virus.
One thing I hear over and over is “It’s just like having the flu”. Well perhaps it is, but I have a flu shot. Also, my doctors and the nurses and my family have the flu shot. If I do get the flu somehow, my team of doctors know just what to do to keep me safe. Which includes a spot in a hospital.
Even so, I’ve been following the protocols for years. Hand sanitizer, got that. I refill bottles all the time for my purse. Wipes for tables and such when eating out? Yes, I’m that person that cleans everything.
I wish I could say I was being so PRODUCTIVE. I know from reading about scientists and physicists and such, often the worst thing for productivity is having too much time and money. I could finally clean up my craft room, but, I’d rather knit and watch another Cary Grant movie.
I’m also enjoying my walks. My Pokemon game has never been better. It’s company when I have to walk alone. I enjoy also walking with my husband. He’s not retired, but is working from home. He spent much of yesterday trying to show people at the company that if people have to work from home, this is what they will need.
It should be noted he just took it on himself. It’s not his job. But to him, his group is going to be ready. The thing I am noticing is how many people are not saying “This isn’t my job.” AND ARE STEPPING UP. People are kind and caring, and we need to focus on all the good stories as well as the bad.
Another important point, what if children have to stay home? A family member has already worked out a schedule where their very active toddler will be supervised by one adult at all times. That means a not normal 8 hour workday for both parents, but they will each do their jobs, and not make the fruitless attempt to watch child and work at the same time.
Planning is important.
As for me, once again I feel the blessing of being able to be on “lockdown”. Is it fun? Nope. Is it over kill? Maybe. But I have to remember everyone that has a serious chronic illness that has to go to work, and can’t be on lock down.
I’m not sad about not having my big birthday party, but I am sad, that so many with chronic illnesses will not have the luxury of knitting and watching old Cary Grant movies.
Everyone, be safe.