A Black Friend has some Questions. How will we answer?


November 12, 2016 by kittynh

I am honored to be allowed to share this FB post by a good friend. I will keep his name off this, for his safety.  He has already been attacked at a gas station in Boston.  It should be noted, but it should not MATTER, that he dresses for his professional job in a tie and sweater vest.  He does not wear a hoodie or give anyone an excuse for attacking him. 

As I wrote, it SHOULD NOT MATTER, but for those that might be “Well was he asking for it?  I mean if he would dress and act this way, he’d be fine”.  Yes, he dresses and acts as you require for empathy.  

Here is his FB post, the question is “What will you do?”

My answer is “I will speak out, I will challenge, I will donate to causes in danger, and I am willing to risk my life to deflect anger toward him or any minority or LGTB, toward myself.”  Because a life without doing the right thing despite the risk, is not a life at all.  It’s simply taking up space here on this planet.


The box is opened, now what can we do? Nothing is not the answer.  Waiting it out. Nope.  No matter how you voted, there is a price to pay.



I just want to be very honest and very clear as I am writing this right now…

You have done more than just voted for a mere change in tax policy or concerns about foreign trade imbalance agreements like NAFTA.

You have done more than just ignore a man whose admitted to sexual assault, who has a history of bad relations with African-Americans and who has called for immigrants to be deported.

You have done more than voted for a man who wants to build a wall and deal with radical Islam and ISIS….which are actually two different things.


In one fell swoop you just completely and utterly legitimized that this country by electing him is a gold star seal of goddamned approval on racism, sexism, sexual assault, homophobia, and America should be a White only/White supremacist country…

Yea you did that.

I really don’t give a damned if you are Black, White, Latino, Asian, a Woman, or any person of faith or non-faith that voted for this man. To be fair his choices he will make to a degree will pale in comparison to what you just signed off on as being okay and acceptable in American life and society.

Your vote, by voting for him, NOW, as we are seeing has opened the floodgates, unlocked


Jonathan Daniels gave his life, and his death should not be in vain, thrown away because people were “well, afraid of THEM.  All the THEMs.  Or wanting more for themselves and believing his lies he can never deliver upon.  People gave up the hard work of people like Jonathan Daniels, for a pipe dream promised by a failed businessman.

America’s Pandora’s Box….and inside that box which many countless others have worked tirelessly hard to stuff in there and never open again was filled with slavery, Black codes, Jim Crow, sundown towns, racism, sexism, misogyny, bigotry, homophobia, Islamaphobia. These people now feel, regardless if you personally disagree with them or not….FEEL, you’ve co-signed their hate, that you’re “with them”, that what they are doing and say is okay. And for me there is no way you will ever be able to wash off their taint with any sincere or deep felt apology. EVER.

With every apology, every time you gasp and express your own individual shock and dismay about their behavior and try to distance yourself and disavow their actions…..it will fall on deaf ears.

You chose willfully to ignore these vastly bigger issues and concerns of other groups of people, and for them unfortunately this is real life. This isn’t some stuffy dry academic rebuttal and disagreement over policy….they’re worried about walking outside of their home and apartment going to work or class. They are worried about being accosted while grocery shopping. They are worried about being denied service in pubic places, having their property defaced and destroyed. They are consoling their kids about if they or their friends or family will be deported. They are worried about that doll with the noose around it’s neck is just rhetoric or a credible threat against their own lives, their families lives.

All this stuff previous generations, my parents, my grandparents, activists or every stripe worked so hard to quell…which BY THE WAY was never fully eradicated but it certainly wasn’t as popular, has now spiked. All those micro-aggressions you thought were just over reactions and misplaced feelings, are getting worse….we’ve already seen in not even a full 24 hours after he’s won the election.

You say you are family, you say you care about my life….so what are you gonna do for me now about the added additional racism I now have to deal with as a result? I’m sorry is not going to cut it. You understand, your actions Tuesday are in no way going to prevent and change the very real possibility of something more drastic and violent happening to me because in part of what you helped legitimize. My incident at the gas station very honestly could’ve ended up with me bloody and beaten if not dead, then what would you have had to say then? How would you have explained that to my aunt? my father? You would’ve expressed sadness, remorse, and condolences I am 100% certain….but take responsibility for what led to my death, would you really have that conversation and tell them that? I highly doubt it, and I really don’t think you’d expect any type of forgiveness if they were to blame you….just something to think about if you know me more intimately.

You in one swoop, put the most vulnerable people at greater risk. You’re gonna try and ply us with you believed you were doing the right thing, that you were just looking out for the future of the country and just simply couldn’t vote for Hillary. She just was the wrong candidate, too much history. Sure, whatever excuse will do. All that is irrelevant and moot to what you just legitimized.

If you didn’t vote in this election and even if you voted third party, you’re even worse because now you had the power, literal power….to decide what was acceptable in this country. You gave your silent consent to what will unfold in what will be the millions of shared stories of all the violent incidents and instances of bigotry over the next 4 years. Your apathy, just cost lives. You are in no way absolved, you completely abdicated your duties not just as Americans but as human beings.

I now have to have ADDED worry about the next 4 years of my life, not so much regarding Trump policy even though I feel those will be horrible disasters…..

NO, it’s more about having to deal with that more open racism I’m going to get when I go


Honored to share

to the mall, or Walmart, or to the movies, or when I am pumping my gas. That added stress, will age me faster and presumably take years off my life. I weep for the Supreme Court picks that will come and has a lasting effect on future generations likely for another 40-75 years at minimum. I now am gonna be more heightened if and when I get pulled over and have to doubly be more concerned if this cop is bigot. You opened the box to which all this has been unleashed once more on America.

Just so we are clear.


*Please note caption to illustrations are my own.

2 thoughts on “A Black Friend has some Questions. How will we answer?

  1. xmundt says:

    I live in the South…so bigotry and racism are not strangers. I cannot fix the world, but, I can speak out about this Evil, and if I am confronted with it, have the courage to stand up to it.

    All that Evil needs to succeed is for good people to do nothing.

    • kittynh says:

      thank you, that is something we’re going to have to learn all over the US. Trump’s election is NOT a mandate for morally horrific and evil behavior.

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