What animal type are you?

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November 12, 2013 by kittynh

The used book store nearby knows I have a passion for any old paranormal or woo books.  The older the better.

I’ve learned if I ever want to be a psychic or fortune teller my choices are endless.  Almost anything, from the day of the week a person was born to coffee grounds (or tea leaves), can be used as part of a psychic reading.  Of course it takes doing the reading without breaking out in the giggles.

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Here is a page from one of my latest finds.  Let’s start with looking at the shape of a face to determine….. something.  The written information simply tells me to refer to the illustration provided.  These are people that perhaps quite striking in their looks, but how having a rather hawk like nose makes you birdlike, isn’t clear.  You are what animal you look like is an interesting conjecture.

A nice resemblance...but I I'm betting Churchill didn't hide in the closet when there was thunder.

A nice resemblance…but I I’m betting Churchill didn’t hide in the closet when there was thunder.

Winston Churchill was said to look like a bulldog. He was a great leader and had the tenacity of some bulldogs.  The bulldog I know is afraid of thunder storms and cats.  This is perhaps the flaw in the whole process, even animals have personality differences.  Bulldogs may look alike, but they don’t all act alike.

No good fortune teller no matter how tempting, is going with "pig"

No good fortune teller no matter how tempted, is going with “pig”

Also paying clients at my “Scammerama” fortune telling shop are  going to be told “You look like a pig, you probably snore and like being in the mud”.  If I do so I’ll soon be out of business.  I want to give my clients information that will bring them, and their wallets, back for more.

Your sucker, I mean client, wants to hear about his amazing resemblance to the mighty German Shepherd.

Your sucker, I mean client, wants to hear about his amazing resemblance to the mighty German Shepherd.

The point is to say nice things, and always be reassuring.  If only others could see my clients as the inner tiger, wolf or cat that is reflected on their face!  Never ever the warthog, pelican or hamster their countenance might suggest to the average viewer.  I haven’t figured out how to deal with the blank facade any TV reality show “Real Housewife” would present.  Too much plastic surgery leaves me with “You are as blank as your face.”

Goose, no matter how strong the resemblance is always wrong.  Swan is safer!

Goose, no matter how strong the resemblance is always wrong. Swan is safer!

The book has a chapter on reading tea leaves and coffee grounds.  I’ve decided to skip the “Will read your face, $25” sign for the “Scammerama” as tea reading leave more scope for the imagination.  I mean psychic powers.

Sometimes though even a fortune teller has to tell the truth.  There is some resemblance to an animal here.

Sometimes though even a fortune teller has to tell the truth. There is some resemblance to an animal here.

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