Bigfoot is only a ghost for Halloween

If  you are an ugly soft spoken bald middle aged man with a pot gut and a bad dresser, even if you produce definitive proof of legions of ghosts, you aren’t even going to be considered for a TV show.  Only the charismatic, and in some cases well buffed young man, need apply.  It seems that ghost hunting shows are watched by a fan base of females.  If you aren’t good looking, or say have a crew of younger good looking guys helping you out, forget it.

It used to be ghost hunters were above ghost hunting for things like a TV show.  They had their eyes on something else, a book deal.  A book that could perhaps be turned into a movie (or multiple movies, both TV and big screen).  The Warrens, of recent movie fame, made sure their ghost adventures were turned into best selling books.  Books that were, ironically, ghost written.  My favorite way to educate people about just who the Warrens were, as a couple, is the Monstertalk episode where ghost writer Ray Garton talks about his experiences writing “In a Dark Place, the Story of a Haunting”.  It is a chilling account of how the Warrens behaved when the cameras and press weren’t around.

The local colleges where I live in New Hampshire all have ghost hunting groups.  Also, there are multiple Bigfoot hunting groups.  What happens when the two overlap?  Well, it’s not quite a Reese’s peanut butter cup of happiness.

Bigfoot woo not welcome.

The local ghost hunting group ,not affiliated with any of the colleges, decided they wanted to go camping.  Or as they like to call it “Turn our expertise in ghost hunting to hunting Sasquatch”.  Oh no they didn’t!  Oh yes they did!

My local Bigfoot group, the Bigfoot Club, was all upset that they would trespass on our territory, or “our area of expertise!”  The ghost hunting group brought dowsing rods, pendulums, and a psychic to the woods of the Monadnock region.  The Bigfoot Club complained that their applying ghost hunting to Bigfoot hunting is an “insult we take personally”.

It should be noted the Bigfoot Club uses trail cameras, detailed maps for accurate coverage of suspected Bigfoot territory, and skills learned from hunting to look for Bigfoot. The club operates on the premise that Bigfoot is a real creatures, highly intelligent, that can be proven with proper scientific inquiry.  As the lone skeptic I always add “If there is such a creature!”  The one problem with the group is that several members have seen what they believe to be a Bigfoot, so for them it is merely proving to the world what they already know.  Still, they have not fallen down the slippery slope that is the belief Bigfoot has paranormal powers.  Bigfoot is still a real creature, that can one day be proven to be real.  I like to of course say “Maybe”.

Only the brave, and well armed, can hunt the BIGFOOT!

The ghost hunting group threw all that OUT.  They believe the reason Bigfoot hasn’t been proven is he/she is a “spirit creature” that may cross dimensions and only those bringing a “psychic ability to converse with spirits” can contact them.  My deer/bear/rabbit/doesitmoveI’llshootit hunting buddies of the Bigfoot Club say “Hogwash!”

Happily the ghost hunters did not find Bigfoot, but they did choose to camp overnight near a steam, that rapidly flooded and washed out their camp.  Also, one of the ghost hunters thinks he might have Lyme disease.  Their usual night is spent exploring an old building with a flashlight, but their Bigfoot hunting was a night of rain and biting bugs lost in the forest.  Their GPS battery ran out.

All in all, the Bigfoot Club have claimed a victory with their superior camping skills.  I don’t have to say that Bigfoot was not sighted, in animal or spirit form.

While neither group has found definitive proof of ghosts or Bigfoot, here is hoping those pesky ghost hunters stay in town where they belong.  They are far more likely to fall prey to hoaxers and perhaps accidentally be shot by hunters (or not so accidentally) if they venture into BIGFOOT TERRITORY.

If you do see Bigfoot while hiking in the forest, remember, call your local Bigfoot hunting group for the professional help you will need to properly identify this woodland creature.

Who you going to call?

NOT ghost hunters!*

*(Please note, I am informed by ghost hunting skeptic and several believers in the UK that while they have some small problems, this is one of those problems mainly of the US, from our inability to cooperate and work together.  I did mention to the Bigfoot Club they might want to consider working with the Ghost Hunting group, and were informed “The day I pull out a dowsing rod to find Bigfoot you can just shoot me.” So this applies to ghost hunting groups from the article and locally that I know about.  Mainly just ONE GROUP.  The one group that when you mention the local police roll their eyes and tell you about having to haul their butts in for trespassing yet again.  Also members of the Bigfoot Club were ready to help rescue the poor ghost hunters when they were lost, as they are all volunteers with local search and rescue, so they will cooperate that way.)

Related articles

• A glut of ghost hunters (doubtfulnews.com)
• Psychic ‘used mystery man in hotel attic to spook ghost hunters’ (express.co.uk)
• Paranormal Reality TV Overload (faithofavampire.wordpress.com)