This article is a very basic primer for the local Bigfoot  group.  Since the latest thing in Bigfoot investigation seems to be DNA testing, with questionable results, I decided to go over with the local group I work with just how to collect samples for testing.

If Bigfoot is a real creature, he poops. Our job, to collect that poop with as little contamination as possible!

The problem with the newest DNA results from Melba Ketchum seems to be the question of just how the samples tested were collected.  Ketchum seems to indicate that she feels all the samples were collected in a manner to prevent modern human or other animal contamination.  I doubt this, simply because I have been told that most forensic labs ask for DNA samples of everyone involved in collecting a sample.  This is because contamination is fairly common.

We need to collect like scientists, not cave men! (Or Bigfoot, or whatever this is)

I asked a few science friends just how they would recommend collecting any suspected Bigfoot samples we might find.  Our group does collect samples, which we usually quickly identify by sight as deer, rabbit, bear or beaver.  Still, we’ve been using an old grocery bag and sometimes even our bare hands. (Not me, I find touching dead things icky).

Sid Rodrigues offered these simple suggestions, which I have shared with my group.

Here is Sid’s advice (he’s so smart, he’s a scientist from the United Kingdom, which means he even has a smart sounding accent!)

This should be pretty straightforward, as Bigfoot should be a different species to any other animal? There will possibly be DNA contamination from any external source/sample, but as we know we’re looking at some sort of mammal, we should be able to work through some elimination process to narrow down the DNA to the major source of the sample. These would most likely be: hair, faeces, blood, or another bodily fluid. From the sound of it, droppings and hair samples are your most likely sources. You only need a pair of cheap examination gloves from a local pharmacy. They usually come in packs or boxes, which should keep them clean enough from contamination. Some zip-seal freezer bags for the collection of samples, and it’s usually best to keep samples in a fridge, or if kept for longer, in a freezer, until they are ready to be sent to a prospective lab. Police DNA collection kits tend to be certified DNA free, as any human DNA will ruin a police investigation into, say, a rape or murder, if there’s some rogue human dna found in the sample collection kits. With zoological sampling, you’re not looking for human DNA, so it can be eliminated from the search, along with plant or bacterial. Dirt and leaves shouldn’t be a problem. A facemask is not necessary for these type of samples. Unless someone has a seriously snotty nose. Hope that’s helpful.

So basically, zip lock bags, cheap gloves, and keep cool or freeze until able to get to a lab.

A few simple steps, we don’t even need to carry face masks.

My Bigfoot  group now carries, at all times, a zip top plastic bag that contains other bags and a pair of plastic gloves.  I also suggested we carry light face masks because sometimes the smell of samples being collected can be quite pungent.  I imagine Bigfoot poop smells as much as any other poop.

Thank you Sid, simple steps that might help keep any samples our group collects from Ketchum style suspected human DNA contamination.

Mind you, I don’t think the group will be sending any samples we collect to Ketchum’s lab.  We’d rather use a professional lab with a good rating from the Better Business Bureau.  We’re looking for proof of Bigfoot, not peculiar hybridization explanations of impossible evolution scenarios.

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• Foiled Again: Lake Monster, Bigfoot Body and Alien Humanoid All in One Week (illuminutti.com)